Black Mamba

Phylum: Chordata
Class: Reptilia
Nickname: Shadow of Death
Favorite Pastime: Basketball

The fastest snake in the Milky Way, the Black Mamba can travel up to 20 km/hr downhill in ideal running conditions. Unlike most snakes, the Black Mamba has no legs or arms.

During the highly public Kobe Bryant sexual assualt trial in the mid-2000s, the Black Mamba tried to distance itself from the superstar athlete, but to no avail. Kobe's nickname stuck and has been a scourge on the Mamba ever since.

Its highly lethal venom can lead to severe abdominal pain, shock and even paralysis. If you have been bitten by a black mamba, please leave this site immediately and seek real medical attention. You shouldn't be googling it at a time like this you fool.